fairy dust plum

Sunday, November 27, 2011

change

As I sit here wondering what i shall do, who am I to become?  Who i use to be. In June I was hurt badly by someone who was close to me. I let someone in and let them know things about me. They took those things and used them against me twisted words to get what they want. To steal my life, to take things away form me to destroy me and put me in dispear. I was hurt a lot and it has effected me dearly and deeply. I have only noticed as of late how much it has changed me. I barely talk to anyone anymore. I keep all kinds of things locked up inside me. I don't share. I don't socialize. I work. I make projects for myself to keep me busy. I love doing these things don't get me wrong. But I wish I could be more carefree like I use to. To share, to have fun, to be more enjoyable to be around. I know that people don't talk to me like they use to. I am not favored I know. I mean I don't want to be praised or favored. But I guess I just...... I don't know. I think about all those things that happened and it still hurts me it still makes me cry. IS that wrong. I have moved past it. Or so I think. Maybe I haven't since I am still hurt so much about it and I let it change me so much and haven't fully recovered form what happened. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel or who I can trust. I use to believe that everyone was basically good and trust worthy. I had no hesitations about things, about people. But now I question everyone's motives what they want form me what they will do what they do with what I tell them. I am not who I use to be, and I don't think I changed for the better. I just don't know what to do with the realization of all of this. Is there anyone that can help me get past it or am I screwed until I get through it on my own?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Love story to tell

I want a love story to tell. I want to have that moment when you look across the room and see him for the first time that you know. That there is something special about that person. That they was put here on the face of this planet just for you.

I want a love story to tell. I want to talk about the first kiss that made me melt. The kiss that made body tingle. Had me feel like I was floating and the rest of the world did not exist for a few moments. That was nothing else in the world but the 2 of us.

I want a love story to tell. He came and rescued me form my demons. He slayed the dragon for me to save me from uncertain troubles. That he would rescue me or try his hardest when there is trouble in my life. Be there by my side holding my hand and facing the world no matter what they say. No matter what the fight was that we had.

I want a love story to tell. That you will let no ocean no person no matter the distance come between us and keep us apart. You will swim, fly, crawl until after your last breath to be with me. To know that I was safe and happy. To try and give me, us, happily ever after.

I want a love story to tell.