Look at the stars, see them burn
So beautiful in the night
Wishing to have been one
To burn the pain away
The way you have changed me
It scares me deep inside
I just want you to go away
Can I jump so high
Leave you behind
Cry at night, your my tears
Throw them away
I wish you never came
An infection that has taken over
no medicine to make it better
Cut me open and take you out
or are you to deep for me to be a cured
can never recover from the poisoned touch
The pieces are far to damaged
No healing can be done
Can I jump so high
Leave you behind
Cry at night, your my tears
Throw them away
I wish you never came
Electric in my head
turning on and off at will
feelings I don't want
they run through me
Stop me, control me, like a puppet
I don't know what to do
I need to be cleansed of you
Can I jump so high
Leave you behind
Cry at night, your my tears
Throw them away
I wish you never came
Inside every part of me
I wish you never came
Let you burn in the stars
wish you never came
Cry, throw away my tears
Jump so high
Leave you behind
I wish you wasn't here
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Friday, October 24, 2014
Monday, August 12, 2013
Stand wishing
You, you don't know
What it's like to not have your touch anymore
A whisper blows across my shoulder
I close my eyes and I can fantasize
your caresse against my skin
the feeling once again
but as easily as the breeze comes
it goes away
Somewhere you are with someone else in your arms
where I once was, where I wish
I could be, But here I am
standing only wishing to be
Sit and try to find a way
To not think about everyday
go on about my life in the dark
I want to hide, stay away form
so many things because I'm so afraid
don't know what to do or what to say
All I know is
Somewhere you are with someone
else in your arms
Where I was, Where I wish
I could be, but here I am
standing
only wishing to be
Why can't these memories be washed away
out of my mind, taken so I don't have them close
Or you could be brought back to me
things cna return to the way they use to be
But I guess for now
I will stay in the dark
standing
and keep wishing
Somewhere you are with someone
else in your arms
Where I was, Where I wish
I could be, but here I am
standing
only wishing to be
What it's like to not have your touch anymore
A whisper blows across my shoulder
I close my eyes and I can fantasize
your caresse against my skin
the feeling once again
but as easily as the breeze comes
it goes away
Somewhere you are with someone else in your arms
where I once was, where I wish
I could be, But here I am
standing only wishing to be
Sit and try to find a way
To not think about everyday
go on about my life in the dark
I want to hide, stay away form
so many things because I'm so afraid
don't know what to do or what to say
All I know is
Somewhere you are with someone
else in your arms
Where I was, Where I wish
I could be, but here I am
standing
only wishing to be
Why can't these memories be washed away
out of my mind, taken so I don't have them close
Or you could be brought back to me
things cna return to the way they use to be
But I guess for now
I will stay in the dark
standing
and keep wishing
Somewhere you are with someone
else in your arms
Where I was, Where I wish
I could be, but here I am
standing
only wishing to be
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Through
The time it takes
for you to correct your mistakes
It's hard to believe
that you have learned you lesson
You claim you real and
true to the end
Let me tell you something
Your end has come
Thats it, I'm done
peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
Slam a door, have a fight
When you wrong
it's such a sight
to watch you prove your right
well I'm putting an end
drawing the finish line
Thats it, I'm done
Peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
You try to back track
do a "U" turn
I promise I won't be concerned
about you or what you do
You been a lesson taught
but you have not learned
so let me tell you something
Our end has finally come
That's it, I'm done
peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
for you to correct your mistakes
It's hard to believe
that you have learned you lesson
You claim you real and
true to the end
Let me tell you something
Your end has come
Thats it, I'm done
peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
Slam a door, have a fight
When you wrong
it's such a sight
to watch you prove your right
well I'm putting an end
drawing the finish line
Thats it, I'm done
Peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
You try to back track
do a "U" turn
I promise I won't be concerned
about you or what you do
You been a lesson taught
but you have not learned
so let me tell you something
Our end has finally come
That's it, I'm done
peace out, I'm gone
I have forgiven to many lies
I'm to good for you, your a fool
So hun, we are through
Friday, January 18, 2013
Need to say
Sitting here, Staring at you
Watching your lips move
The words that come out don't make sense
your tellin' me that your sorry you
should have never left
you want to be able to hold me again
Sorry but I can't do this any more
Tired of crying over you
you left me in the cold so confused
sitting wondering why
I need to pull it together
and finally say good bye
You left me and I blamed myself
looking at photos wondering what else
what did I do to lose you tell me what I said
But now I know I need to move ahead
Sorry but I can't do this any more
Tired of crying over you
you left me in the cold so confused
sitting wondering why
I need to pull it together
and finally say good bye
Crying alone in the dark
sitting by the phone
waiting for an email
need an explanation
I needed to know why
but now I know that all I need
Is to say goodbye
Sorry I can't do this any more
Tired of crying alone on the floor
You left me in the cold you left confused
What was I suppose to do
What was I to think
But now I know
what I gotta do
Is say Goodbye
Watching your lips move
The words that come out don't make sense
your tellin' me that your sorry you
should have never left
you want to be able to hold me again
Sorry but I can't do this any more
Tired of crying over you
you left me in the cold so confused
sitting wondering why
I need to pull it together
and finally say good bye
You left me and I blamed myself
looking at photos wondering what else
what did I do to lose you tell me what I said
But now I know I need to move ahead
Sorry but I can't do this any more
Tired of crying over you
you left me in the cold so confused
sitting wondering why
I need to pull it together
and finally say good bye
Crying alone in the dark
sitting by the phone
waiting for an email
need an explanation
I needed to know why
but now I know that all I need
Is to say goodbye
Sorry I can't do this any more
Tired of crying alone on the floor
You left me in the cold you left confused
What was I suppose to do
What was I to think
But now I know
what I gotta do
Is say Goodbye
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Make-up remover - Dreams
I sleep.. The dreams come filled with many things. Some good, some bad and some just there. But with my eyes closed I have no control over what comes and goes in my head. So much time has come since things ended. Your voice barely something I can recall in a waken state. Yet my dreams lately have been filled with you. Not of some fantasy that will never come to be being rescued from the depths of a cave after being kidnapped by vikings. Lost on a trip into the wilderness and saved by a handsome woodsman that know the woods so well and keep me company and helps me and we fall in love. None of that, not even close. No they are filled of every day things. watching TV and talking about the shows or stupid things people say on Facebook.
Sitting on the couch watching you put together something and getting mad and I laugh under my breath. Things that are normal. Everyday happening things. Never dream of you coming back and telling me your sorry for leaving and hurting me. They are like nothing bad ever happened. I can feel myself smiling while I am sleeping. The happiness from the dreams wash over me and take over while the rest of the world can't see and goes on. These are things that could very well happen and could be. But then I waken. I am in bed with you not laying next to me. and the sadness and pain form when you left that has taken a long time to get over comes back with a vengeance. The tears stream down my face. the happiness I once felt that was real not just a dream is gone and I am reminded of how it left.
Left with a hole once again, one that I thought had healed over. Like putting salt in a very fresh wound it stings and hurts. A scar that no one can see but me. No one will ever know how much it hurt or how big it is. Covered up with smiles and "I'm fine" or "Everything is great in my life" No one will know the truth that lays beneath the lies only my dreams will tel me that I am not over you nor will I ever get over you. Does time really heal all wounds, or does it just help you figure out how to cover them up like a blemish on your face you cover with make-up? All I know is that no matter what you tell your brain, no matter what you convince yourself you feel. Your heart and dreams will always remind you of the truth of the happiness you had and the sadness that it leaves you filled with now.
So each day, after my dreams end, I will put on my "make-up" and cover up the blemish that lays deep inside.
Sitting on the couch watching you put together something and getting mad and I laugh under my breath. Things that are normal. Everyday happening things. Never dream of you coming back and telling me your sorry for leaving and hurting me. They are like nothing bad ever happened. I can feel myself smiling while I am sleeping. The happiness from the dreams wash over me and take over while the rest of the world can't see and goes on. These are things that could very well happen and could be. But then I waken. I am in bed with you not laying next to me. and the sadness and pain form when you left that has taken a long time to get over comes back with a vengeance. The tears stream down my face. the happiness I once felt that was real not just a dream is gone and I am reminded of how it left.
Left with a hole once again, one that I thought had healed over. Like putting salt in a very fresh wound it stings and hurts. A scar that no one can see but me. No one will ever know how much it hurt or how big it is. Covered up with smiles and "I'm fine" or "Everything is great in my life" No one will know the truth that lays beneath the lies only my dreams will tel me that I am not over you nor will I ever get over you. Does time really heal all wounds, or does it just help you figure out how to cover them up like a blemish on your face you cover with make-up? All I know is that no matter what you tell your brain, no matter what you convince yourself you feel. Your heart and dreams will always remind you of the truth of the happiness you had and the sadness that it leaves you filled with now.
So each day, after my dreams end, I will put on my "make-up" and cover up the blemish that lays deep inside.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Never really lost
Love is never really lost
It is just misguided
Misguided I was for the longest time
until you came along
You helped me get back on the main road again.
You have taught me how to love
and trust someone again
You have told me to listen to my heart
and no one else
I know now where my heart has been
and Where my love has traveled to
It all went to you
and is now still with you
Forever and always it will never really be lost
Again
This is something I wrote when I was in the 7th grade so forgive the bad stuff i just thought it would be nice to share some old stuff i have written. So enjoy, hopefully.
It is just misguided
Misguided I was for the longest time
until you came along
You helped me get back on the main road again.
You have taught me how to love
and trust someone again
You have told me to listen to my heart
and no one else
I know now where my heart has been
and Where my love has traveled to
It all went to you
and is now still with you
Forever and always it will never really be lost
Again
This is something I wrote when I was in the 7th grade so forgive the bad stuff i just thought it would be nice to share some old stuff i have written. So enjoy, hopefully.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Miss The Rain
I sit on the couch where you use to sit
Wrapped up in a blanket pretending your arms are there
I close my eyes and see your face
Then the thunder rumbles in the sky
Back to reality I fly
Empty room I sit and cry
The dark might consume me
I just need you to hear one thing
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
the phone rings with a message my heart skips a beat
But when it's not your name tears stream my cheeks
Knock at the door can make my breath stop cold
But I know when I open it you won't be standing there
I am dying to touch your hair
lay my head on your chest
Baby don't you care
You just can't leave me
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
I am drying out form the endless stream of tears
Need a life preserver to save me from this pain
lost in this sea of despair
Loneliness my only friend
I want you to come back and hold me tight
keep me close and kiss away the tears
Bring back the rain
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
Bring back the rain take away the sun
it's drying me out
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
Missin you so bad baby
Like the flowers.....
Miss the rain
Wrapped up in a blanket pretending your arms are there
I close my eyes and see your face
Then the thunder rumbles in the sky
Back to reality I fly
Empty room I sit and cry
The dark might consume me
I just need you to hear one thing
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
the phone rings with a message my heart skips a beat
But when it's not your name tears stream my cheeks
Knock at the door can make my breath stop cold
But I know when I open it you won't be standing there
I am dying to touch your hair
lay my head on your chest
Baby don't you care
You just can't leave me
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
I am drying out form the endless stream of tears
Need a life preserver to save me from this pain
lost in this sea of despair
Loneliness my only friend
I want you to come back and hold me tight
keep me close and kiss away the tears
Bring back the rain
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
in the middle of a heat wave
To not have you laughter in my ear is painful
your touch is distance and non existent
Hunni don't you know I miss you like the
flowers miss the rain
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
Bring back the rain take away the sun
it's drying me out
I miss you like the flowers miss the rain
Missin you so bad baby
Like the flowers.....
Miss the rain
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Runnin Away
I'm runnin away
I gonna leave it all behind
Need to find a way
to run my own life
The rain comes down
it soaks through exposing all the wounds
hard to hide, what is in plain view
Can you hear my screams see my tears
I am trying to hide all my fears
Can you help me face my fears
I'm runnin away
gonna leave it all behind
Got to find a way
to see the light
Hide in a corner
not sure what is bolder
admitting the scare or the
hurt deep down inside
you can't see it but I feel it all the time
I fight the night to see the daylight
runs away my fears
Runnin away today
Leavin it all behind
Gotta say what stays
and what is thrown to the side
gonna make my own way
gonna stand tall
and leave the rest behind
Got to work my life
and make it right
find what works
and what is really mine
see the way to find
to, find my peace of mind
I'm runnin away today
gonna leave it all behind
gotta try to find
my peace of mind
I gonna leave it all behind
Need to find a way
to run my own life
The rain comes down
it soaks through exposing all the wounds
hard to hide, what is in plain view
Can you hear my screams see my tears
I am trying to hide all my fears
Can you help me face my fears
I'm runnin away
gonna leave it all behind
Got to find a way
to see the light
Hide in a corner
not sure what is bolder
admitting the scare or the
hurt deep down inside
you can't see it but I feel it all the time
I fight the night to see the daylight
runs away my fears
Runnin away today
Leavin it all behind
Gotta say what stays
and what is thrown to the side
gonna make my own way
gonna stand tall
and leave the rest behind
Got to work my life
and make it right
find what works
and what is really mine
see the way to find
to, find my peace of mind
I'm runnin away today
gonna leave it all behind
gotta try to find
my peace of mind
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Drowning
The hurt and pain that I am in right now does not even begin to describe what I put you through. I know I did wrong. I know this, I understand this and I accept it. But at least I didn't do my wrong where we share our life together. Where we share our family time. Where we are together. Where our children are. The tears have not stopped. Even though you might not be able to see them streaming down my cheeks and form my bloodshot eyes.
On the inside I am a dam that has been broken and all the water is rushing over everything around making it hard to see drowning in my sadness and sorrow. Not knowing where I can turn. Who I can trust with my feelings, my heart. The place I want to run to I can't. The place I should want to run to I don't want to because of the pain and the feelings that I do and don't have. Of the fear that I will be alone forever or I may stay for the wrong reasons. Of the fear that I do truly want you and just don't see it for myself yet.
I still have wants and feeling that are outside of you. That are for someone else. It could just be a possible fleeting things like a mid life crisis. After I buy the bright shiny red corvette and drive it for a bit I will be done and over it. I will be fine and know everything that I want. Or it could be something real and more that will pull me someplace I have never been and I might want to stay there and be in that moment forever and never leave. To be wrapped in the arms of something I have missed for a while. To feel things that have been absent for so long.
I don't know what I want at this point. I am so sick of saying I don't know but right now with all the confusion I can't see the answers through all the fog that is clouding the path in front of me. Eventually it will clear and I will be able to see. I will know and so will you and everyone else that needs to know. Until then I don't know the answers that you seek or that I seek. I wish I did make things so much easier. Right now that is not the case. So until then I grasp at the passing tree branch's to save myself until they break. waiting for my life boat to save me. And to see who my rescuer is.
On the inside I am a dam that has been broken and all the water is rushing over everything around making it hard to see drowning in my sadness and sorrow. Not knowing where I can turn. Who I can trust with my feelings, my heart. The place I want to run to I can't. The place I should want to run to I don't want to because of the pain and the feelings that I do and don't have. Of the fear that I will be alone forever or I may stay for the wrong reasons. Of the fear that I do truly want you and just don't see it for myself yet.
I still have wants and feeling that are outside of you. That are for someone else. It could just be a possible fleeting things like a mid life crisis. After I buy the bright shiny red corvette and drive it for a bit I will be done and over it. I will be fine and know everything that I want. Or it could be something real and more that will pull me someplace I have never been and I might want to stay there and be in that moment forever and never leave. To be wrapped in the arms of something I have missed for a while. To feel things that have been absent for so long.
I don't know what I want at this point. I am so sick of saying I don't know but right now with all the confusion I can't see the answers through all the fog that is clouding the path in front of me. Eventually it will clear and I will be able to see. I will know and so will you and everyone else that needs to know. Until then I don't know the answers that you seek or that I seek. I wish I did make things so much easier. Right now that is not the case. So until then I grasp at the passing tree branch's to save myself until they break. waiting for my life boat to save me. And to see who my rescuer is.
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